An Oral History Of Acid and Bullshit From Acid-Tongue’s Desk

Flowery_Acid_Trip_by_CrystalSister

How to spot an acid junkie and save them before they hurt other species:

1. Identify

– if you see someone running in circles for 2 hours, the person could be under the influence of acid. However you must first wait for 2 hours to established the next cause of action.

2. Secure The Area

– clear the surrounding area from any vehicles, houses, dogs, cats, birds, ponds, human civilisation, sharp objects (optional), and anything else that you may find to be hazardous.

– if the acid junkie is spotted in a place with heavy traffic, divert all traffic to use alternative route even if it means they will be delayed by 2-3 hours. This is important in order not to disturb the junkie’s concentration on running in circles.

– if you find it hard to accomplish the above, please steal road signs, or hire a part-time actor to play dead for at least 7-8 hours. You should also consider buying some fake blood just to create a valid crime or accident scene.

– Once the above is established, please proceed to the next task.

3. Airway

– there’s truly no need to check the airway of a running acid junkie

4. Breathing

– clear that the casualty is breathing

5. Compress

– your desire from laughing or joining the acid junkie but here’s sometimes to kill time

– play Jimi Hendrix’s purple haze on a boom box

– get a video camera

– grab some beers and pot

now make a home movie. This will take at least 7-8 hours minimum or at least 8-12 maximum depending on how many stamps has been consumed. Enjoy.

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