Kurt Cobain’s Quotes Plus Extensive Compilation Of Rare Sayings

Kurt Cobain Quotes

In Aberdeen, I hated my best friends with a passion, because they were idiots (1989)
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I just can’t believe anyone would start a band just to make the scene and be cool and have chicks.
I just can’t believe it (1992)
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It’s really not hard to keep your dignity and sign to a major label.. 
most people don’t have any dignity in the first place (1992)
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Kurt Quote

All drugs are a waste of time. They destroy your memory 
and your self-respect and everything that goes along with your self-esteem. 
They’re no good at all. But I’m not going to go around preaching against them (1992)
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I knew I was different. I thought that I might be gay or something
because I couldn’t identify with any of the guys at all. None of them liked art or music,
they just wanted to fight and get laid. It was many years ago but it
gave me this real hatred for the average American macho male (1991)

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If it was up to me, I’d get more oil tanker drivers drunk.
I don’t value music much. I like the Beatles, but I hate Paul McCartney.
I like Led Zeppelin, but I hate Robert Plant. I like the Who, but I hate Roger Daltrey.
~Nirvana Reader 1988-1992~
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If I went to jail, at least I wouldn’t have to sign autographs (1992)
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Rape is one of the most terrible crimes on earth.
And it happens every few minutes (1991)
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We sound like the Bay City Rollers  after an assault by Black Sabbath.
And, we vomit onstage better than anyone (1992)
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I won’t eat anything green – Kurt Cobain, 1991
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People think of life as being so sacred and they feel like this is their only
chance and they have to do something with their life and make an impact
As far as I’m concerned,
it’s just a pitstop for the afterlife. It’s just a little test to see how
you can handle reality
(1993)
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It’s okay to eat fish because they don’t have any feelings
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We have no right to express
an opinion until we know all of the answers
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You can’t buy happiness
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Birds are and always have been reincarnated old men with Tourette’s
syndrome having somehow managed to dupe the reproductive saga.
They fuck each other and tend to their home repairs and children
while never missing their true mission. To scream at the top of their
lungs in horrified hellish rage every morning at daybreak
to warn us all of the truth. They know the truth. Screaming bloody
murder all over the world in our ears, but sadly we don’t speak bird

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It’s okay to eat fish because they don’t have any feelings
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I can’t comment on Soundgarden because I know them personally
and I really like them a lot, but I have strong feelings towards
Pearl Jam and Alice In Chains
and bands like that. They’re obviously just corporate puppets
that are just trying to jump on the alternative
bandwagon – and we are being lumped into that category (1992)
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I have very bad posture
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Dreaming of the person you want to be is wasting the person you already are
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I feel compelled to say fuck you fuck you to those of you who have
absolutely no regard for me as a person. You have raped me harder than you’ll ever know.
So again I say fuck you although this phrase has totally lost its meaning.
FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU
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Hi, my name is Kurt Cobain, I’m homosexual,
I’m a pagan, I’m a drug abuser, and I like to fuck pot-bellied pigs!
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I’m worse at what I do best

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No True Talent is fully organic. Yet the superior talented have not only control of study
but that extra special, little gift at birth–fueled by passion.A built in, totally spiritual,
unexplainable, New Age,fuckin cosmic energy bursting love for passion. And yes,they
are an even smaller percent amongst the small percent. And they are special!
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Don’t read my diary when I’m gone. Ok, I’m going to work now,
when you wake up this morning, please read my diary.
Look trough my things, and figure me out
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Rape is one of the most terrible crimes on earth and it happens every few minutes.
The problem with groups who deal with rape is that they try to educate women
about how to defend themselves. What really needs to be done is teaching men
not to rape. Go to the source and start there
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I use bits and pieces of others personalities to form my own
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This song is dedicated to Frank Zappa, and River Phoenix, Fred Gwynne who played Herman Munster, Dixie Lee Ray, Thomas P, Tip O’Neil, and you, dumb ass, who just threw water on me
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Birds…scream at the top of their lungs in horrified hellish rage every morning at
daybreak to warn us all of the truth. They know the truth. Screaming bloody
murder all over the world in our ears, but sadly we don’t speak bird
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All In All Is All We Are
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Drugs are bad for you. They will fuck you up
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I can’t play [guitar] like Segovia. The flip side of that is that Segovia 
could probably never have played like me (Fall 1994)
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I’m not mad. I’m in a perfectly happy mood
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Oh well, whatever, nevermind
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If you read, you’ll judge
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Believe in everything you read
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Zits are beauty marks (1992)
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Andy Wood – Love Lost In Seattle (1990)

AWMotherLoveBoneECGAs the late 80s started to sign a brighter hope in Seattle‘s morbid hemisphere (remember – it always rains in Seattle?) the music industry quivered with the prospect that Seattle has finally found its next star product following the ever so magnetic Jimi Hendrix and the man was none other than Mother Love Bone’s front man, Andrew Wood. The acceptance towards Mother Love Bone as the succeeding historical touchstones of the city’s sullied almanac has reached fever pitched and there was no longer a doubt that once their album hits the dawn of the daylight, the band will carry the crown home. There was no better time for Mother Love Bone to finally make their lush debut, as they have shined at predominantly at creating an impression while Wood’s self-imposed British glam-rock benchmark cemented him as one of Seattle’s finest products to date. Unfortunately for Seattle, Wood jumped of to the deep end when he died from an alleged heroin overdose just a few months before the album, Apple was due to change his live and the entire demographic structure of Seattle’s underground music archives, was scheduled to hit the stores thus ending  Seattle’s hopes and dreams for the aspiring young idol.

Andrew Patrick Wood, the youngest of 3 brothers was born in January 8, 1966 in Columbus, Mississippi and started experimenting music at a very young age. In 1980, Wood‘s who was 14 formed Malfunkshun with his brother, Kevin and the band’s lush debut instantly established Malfunkshun as the scene’s firm favourites ultimately uplifting their names in the Seattle alternative music show ground. Malfunkshun recorded its first demo in April 1980 and in the following years as they started to open for Seattle’s subversive bands such as Soundgarden, The U-Men, and Skin Yard, the pressure of spotlight fell greatly on Wood for a number of reasons.

Often referred to as a startling composition between the legendary front man of the The Door’s, Jim Morrison and Marc Bolan of T-Rex, musically Wood was more aligned to the early 70s British rock personified bands such as Queen and T-Rex while adapting to the comically obscene glam-rock fashion that was widely popularised by British acts such as T-Rex and David Bowie among others and Lou Reed, The New York Dolls and Jobriath in US. Although facing decline halfway through the mid 70s, glam rock was occasionally revived  throughout 90s and has since influenced punk, gothic rock and more.

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Still early in his inception, Wood was already causing quit the stir in the industry and in doing so managed to turn some heads in his way. Andy Wood’s was blessed with the whole hermaphrodite visage, spunk and charisma of his former antecedents; the ever so flawless lions of hard rock such as Robert Plant and Jimmy Page from the Led’s, Patti Smith, David Bowie, Mick Jagger and the rest that was hardly seen in the new and upcoming band of the mid to late 80s. Taking the spirit of fashion to the heart, Andrew Wood  would often take the stage dolled up in heavy make up and daring plus outrages clothes through his stage alter-ego, Landrew The Love Child. 

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In 1985, while the music was slowly picking up the speed and flair of the mainstream arena, it also somehow ignited the cultural shift in the opium trade as Seattle started to witness a rise in the heroin transaction while  youth turned to the substance as the ultimate drugs of choice. Andy Wood became one of the many youth who started falling into the heroin trapping but managed to steer off the path when he got himself admitted to a rehab in the same year. After cleaning up his act, Wood and Malfunkshun continued performing around Seattle picking up a steady flow of partisans who were growing in volumes by then. Andy Wood and Green River are still upheld as the real forefathers of grunge in the early Seattle underground movement.

Although Malfunkshun recorded a hefty stash of demos throughout their reign, they never officially released an album and were also turned down by Sub Pop, a famous Seattle-based record label who would continue to sign Nirvana as they found Malfunkshun not grunge enough to grace their map of existing artists since the record label was highly committed in fronting bands that were inclined to the soaring trends of grunge. Even without a proper record label to fluctuate Malfunkshun’s talents further into stardom, two of Malfunkshun’s songs ‘With Yo’ Heart (Not Yo’ Hands) and Stars-n-You were compiled in the legendary Deep Six Compilation Album released by C/Z Records in 1986. That served as the last credits to the Mulfunkshun’s catalog as the band disbanded two years later in 1988.

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Shortly after Malfunkshun pulled the plug on the band, Wood and Hagar started jamming with Stone Gossard and Jeff Ament of the Green River, which also met its end in the same year. Together, they started performing under the pseudonym Lords of the Wasteland until former Green River guitarist Bruce Fairweather joined the band followed by Skin Yard’s drummer Greg Gilmore replacing  Hagar. The band was later baptised as Mother Love Bone. The formation of Mother Love Bone saw a heavy collision of two power pack band members who had equal fame, talents and cult in the scene and this further upheld the band’s reputation than anyone could have dared to comprehend. In 1989, the band signed a deal with Polygram and issued a six-song EP, Shine through their sub label, Stardog.

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1. Thru Fade Away                                   2. Mindshaker Meltdown                                     3. Half Ass Monkey Boy
4. Chloe Dancer / Crown of Thorns    5. Capricorn Sister

mother_love_boneMother Love Bone newly released EP, Shine was later cited as a form of dedication to the whole Seattle music hubbub by John Book. In 1989, the band started recording their debut album while simultaneously going on tours and supporting bands like the The Dogs D’Amour. With such high hopes and expectations placed on Mother Love Bone’s upcoming album (later called Apple), Wood started to acknowledge his struggles with the heightening need and desire for heroin addiction, he once again checked into a rehab in 1989 hoping to kick the habit before the album release staying there till the end of the year.

In the dawn of 1990, the band continued to play gigs in Seattle while they waited for the release of their first studio album, Apple.

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1. This Is Shrangila                     2. Stardog Champion                  3. Holy Roller                               4. Bone China                       5. Come Bite the Apple               6. Stargazer                                    7. Heartshine                             8. Captain Hi-Top (Hi Top)
9. Man of Golden Words           10. Capricorn Sister                    11. Gentle Groove                      12. Mr. Danny Boy
13. Crown of Thorns

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However, Seattle’s exceptional jewel of the year did not live long to enjoy the kind of reception that the band’s album would live to harbour when his girlfriend found him in a state of comatose (where casualties falls into a deep sleep and looses all sense of response to touch or sometimes having no or little ability to response thus diminishing any signs of brain activities) after overdosing on an alleged lethal dose of heroin. Wood was immediately rushed to the Harborview Hospital and placed on life support. Wood suffered a haemorrhage aneurysm and despite of being responsive he had lost all brain functions. Andrew Wood was removed from life support on the 19 March 1990 following the physician’s suggestion thus marking his biological time of death. It also marked the day where Seattle was shaken to the core of its very foundation for having to loose yet another of its star studded son who was destined for greater things in life.

Apple may be one of the first great hard-rock records of the 90s and Andrew Wood could have been the first of the big-league Seattle rock starsDavid Browne of The New York Times

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Apple opened to an overall positive review from the critics and was well received by fans.

All members of Mother Love Bone broke up shortly after Wood’s death and went their separate ways. However, Gossard and Ament reconcile after much persuasion from Mike McCready and set out to form a new band that would later be known as Pearl Jam with Eddie Vedder of Broken Radio as the band’s front man.

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In the following year, Chris Cornell of Soundgarden, a long time friend of Wood’s who was also a former roommate erected Temple Of The Dog as homage for the fallen hero. Cornell who already wrote two songs, ‘Reach Down’ and ‘Say hello 2 heaven’ approached Gossard, Ament (who were Mother Love Bone’s former members) and McCready to record the songs as singles before all of them reached to an agreement of releasing a full album dedicated to Wood. Mat Cameron joins Temple as the drummer and the San Diego based musician and surfer, Eddie Vedder who came down for an audition for the future Pearl Jam would also end up as a contributing vocalist with a duet between Cornell and Vedder on ‘Hunger Strike’ on Temple of The Dog’s self titled one and only debut album released in 1991.

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Temple disband after the album release and all existing members returned to their respective bands, which later sees the formation of Pearl Jam. Pearl Jam first and major debut, Ten would open to international stardom shortly after Nirvana’s ‘Smells Like Teen Spirit’ breaks the barrier of the Seattle’s underground movement simultaneously uplifting it to the shiny pop spectrum of the mainstream arena. Pearl Jam’s newfound fame saw Temple’s previous work coming back to the spotlight that it so richly deserved.

Alice in Chains members debuted ‘Would?’ to Wood’s memories also including other fallen hero’s of the music society who died as a result of heroin addiction in their second album Dirt.  

I was thinking a lot about Andrew Wood at the time. We always had a great time when we did hang out, much like Chris Cornell and I do. There was never really a serious moment or conversation, it was all fun. Andy was a hilarious guy, full of life and it was really sad to lose him. But I always hate people who judge the decisions others make. So it was also directed towards people who pass judgments. Jerry Cantrell

Both Shine and Apple were reissued by PolyGram in 1992 as part of the Mother Love Bone compilation album while Chloe Dancer/Crown of Thorns was included on the soundtrack to the film Singles.

Faster Pussycat, an LA-based band also wrote a song in tribute to Wood’s called Mr. Lovedog from the album Whipped!  Allmusic’s, Bradley Torreano, described the song as a sad requiem to the passing of yet another charismatic figure in the metal world.

Continuing the tradition in the memory of the late Andrew Wood, another Seattle grunge band, Candlebox released their self-title debut featuring the single Far Behind, which was made to his name in 1993 followed by former band mate Stone Gossard who compiled all of Malfunkshun’s early recordings and releasing it as a compilation album, Return to Olympus.

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A documentary was finally made in commemorating Andrew Wood’s musical career in 2005 by director Scot Barbour entitled, Malfunkshun: The Andrew Wood Story. The film premiered at the Seattle International Film Festival followed by FAIF Film Festival in Hollywood, California in the same year. The film was released in 2011 on DVD as part of a 2CD+DVD set entitled Malfunkshun: The Andrew Wood Story including the Return to Olympus album, a bonus CD including many interviews and demos and the movie on the DVD disc.

Kurt Cobain & Eddie Vedder: The Grunge Battle

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Kurt Cobain did not hate Eddie Vedder neither did Eddie hated Cobain. Hate is such a strong word to describe what seemed to be a temporary brawl or dispute of interest that happens awfully a lot in the industry. Thus, our cyber Einstein’s had made it their mission to further pursue the subject into the modern century as they drool over the issue for years if not decades. While that is extremely admirable if the intentions are purely focused on keeping the memories alive, but most often than not, the information supplied to the thesis are usually untrue and in some cases are exaggerated beyond the whole biblical truth.

Remember that we have all gone through a phase of ‘devil-may-care’ attitude and some of us has even been beaten for the fortitude. Just like that 23 years ago our dear grunge prince Kurt Cobain and our favourite grunge ambassador Eddie Vedder were kids and that will further testify to the whole ‘life begins at 40s’ ideology. Even if we believe that Vedder grew up way ahead of his years for amassing such a graceful and professional attitude over the whole dispute that was truly nothing to begin with, sometimes some childish behaviour are totally unavoidable.

1991 was the year where Nirvana drove punk in simultaneously pushing the claustrophobic envelope further into the pop shiny spectrum by breaking the barriers of Seattle’s inner layers of subversive music and the lateral universe of rock stardom. The achievement was reached in such biblical ways that it broke out as a pandemonium that was beyond words. But to say that the late frontman of Nirvana, Kurt Cobain was the forefather of Grunge or Punk would truly be an overstatement to the actual thesis for neither, he nor Eddie was the forefather of Grunge. Punk was already there, its seed was already planted, and the ones who planted this would stretch way back in history so for now let’s just stick to the subterranean facts of Seattle underground culture and its propellers who were none other than Andy Wood (January 8, 1966 – March 19, 1990)  Mother Love Bone, Chris Cornell of Soundgarden and Mudhoney among others.

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This was evident through their earliest work such as Apple, which was released 3 months (July 1990) after Mother Love Bone’s frontman decease. Mother Love Bone in its inception was predicted to become one of the greatest bands in due time and Andy Wood as the first of the big-league Seattle rock star.

The truth could be that Pearl Jam were one of the first representative of punk rock in its purest form but that does not cut of Nirvana from the scheme as Bleach was the proof to Nirvana’s notability as a very functional band that will lead the whole underground pandemonium to such exceptional heights. While ‘Smells Like Teen Spirit’ earned its keep in the Nirvana’s vault, Ten did it for Pearl Jam as they continued to uplift the culture forward. However, to the British media’s dismay, NME published an article stating that Pearl Jam was just trying to steal money from young alternative kid’s pockets and  Cobain further instigated the statement with his own version of: Pearl Jam being commercial sellouts and argued that Ten was not a true alternative album because it had to many prominent guitar lead.

Oh well, the so called commercial sell out who were trying to steal money from the young alternative kids pockets actually retreated from limelight and would rather not earn a single keep as long as their fans were being cheated by Ticketmaster who subjected fans to an extra fee for service charges. So yeah, so much for being the commercial sell-out they weren’t.

The publicity shy Eddie Vedder who almost quit music in 1993 due to the intense pressure the band had to face at their prime stated that none of them would be here if it wasn’t for Nirvana. It was to Vedder’s mastery that he took the negative and converted it into such positive vibes that the two finally came into an agreement and the dispute was forever lost.

In a 1992 Interview Kurt Cobain finally stated:

I’m bowing down gracefully and taking off my crown and I’m giving it over to Eddie Vedder of Pearl Jam. He’s now the representative of the youth of America – October 30, 1992

When asked if he was doing so in favour of his newfound role as a father and husband, he replied:

‘Because Eddie Vedder stole my looks, and wears it better than I’

Oh well, we were all jealous of Eddie Vedder at one point that we could and would all die for his ‘Greek-God’ looks and Golden Baritones as much as his overall charismatic and humble poise. So we can relate to Cobain and his tiny little pang of jealousy towards Vedder when they were both still too young to notice anything below the music they were so engulfed with.

Kurt Cobain on the other hand was just living up to his own words of:

I’d rather be hated for who I am than loved for who I am not.

That seems admirable but he would later come out and say that Eddie was the nicest person in the industry. Thanks Cobain for making us confuse just like you. But as we all know, there was no love lost between the two. It was the kindred spirits kind of dispute that even passes through the relationships of blood brothers. And the story ended well for the two with a solid slow dance and watching the beautiful moment the two shared backstage, we were almost flinching on our seats thinking that even Cobain would end up smooching Eddie that day the was Kiedis did. Poor Eddie got ‘French-ed’ earlier in the day when Anthony Kiedis grabbed him for a lovey-dovey Frenchy’

Eddie Vedder further quotes to the moments below:

You see Kurt looking over and go like this (puts finger to lips) and it’s not saying, ‘Don’t tell anybody’ or ‘Keep the lid on this little private moment.’ It was actually because on the stage above us, Eric Clapton was playing ‘Tears In Heaven’.

Remember Our Band? We So Wanted To Be Nirvana

* You will find this post utterly irrelevant with the title. If you are looking to read about Nirvana, there’s nothing much about the post punk-rock group, this is more than just Nirvana*

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Eddie Vedder (Pearl Jam) & Chris Cornnel (Soundgarden/Audioslave)

This is a crime towards humanity! Somebody should have told them that it was a sin to look this good and sing the way they did or still do – oh my apocalyptic desires. But brace yourselves coz I’m not here to drool over the beauty’s of these Greek-God lookalikes (not that I know how Greek-God looks like – it’s just an appropriate term to be used) coz I’m here to tell you why music is not lost. (Coming from a misanthrope who once hated rock for a very good reason – you might wanna stay and see what this idiot -me has to say)

Musically I am more inclined to the electronic dance music pandemonium, which is like the new wave for the generation Z and mainly because it leaves behind a good trip. I have come to love music without lyrics because it seems to be like an unbolted boulevard; you can easily stop anywhere you like and make an unexpected turn anytime you want without having rules to tie you down. It’s just the plain flow of  thubp-thubp-thubp-  (tectonically) and that’s it. No hangovers over how sad the lyrics were or how dark it was because it’s simple and there’s no need to freight over the unparalleled promises of trying to break the whole ‘Da Vinci’s’ code in the lyrics.

Once in awhile, should the need arise, then Korn, Slipknot, Avenged Sevenfold, Deftones, Disturbed, Jim Gordon, David Draimen and stuff like that does it for me. The dark undertone of the musical base is far easier to comprehend and the amount of screaming blurbs out the whole lyrical density. It’s plain and straight to the point, they tell you ‘Dead Bodies Lying Everywhere’, and you get dead bodies everywhere and take that straight up your mind and don’t expect prince charming coming to dig their graves because he has such a good heart. No, it does not happen here because it’s outwardly rebellious type of music and I like it.  And yes I dig Manson as well due the sheer power of his vocal tones and not the overall package. Even darkness needs effort and can’t be forced on an individual if they don’t want to. Giving where credit is due, I don’t care if he wants to be the angel or demon of this inferior world. In a democratic sense of thoughts, it’s his wish and I don’t give a flying pink pig about that. Man is grown up he knows what is right and what is wrong and I’m not gonna face God on behalf of him. What I know is that there’s a certain power in his voice and an intense gravity that would even chase the wolves back into the woods. So there is that much-deserved praises for the vocal ability he possess.

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My deteriorating interest in rock music was due to the fact that it kept a touchstone of poignant melancholy and the tragic tales of a superior past that sometimes tend to break your heart all over again and this is why it’s just so hard to go back and listen to certain notable groups such as Nirvana. Here I am, someone who was all alone growing up, constantly described as a dark child with dark mind and a package that would not live pass 25. I was rotting in the solid chambers of my own peculiar dreams for having such a distorted providence, no friends, just the whole fucking imaginary existence where the devil drops by to have a cup of evening tea. As the story goes, when that happens, you tend to always resort to drugs to find that momentary peace but I found Nirvana.

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Remember Our Band, We So Wanted To Be Nirvana But We Had To Many Rhythm Guitars – Andy Esoteric (*sad face*) 

This is what my dead vocalist said before we found him lifeless in the bath tub of some opulent mansion we rented for the week for surfing purposes and if we could find some inspiration while watching the sun set and enjoying the zephyr of the late evening.

Cold in the final phase of his withering propensity of a life, which by the way was brutally ended by heroin addiction; took away my childhood friend who once understood the whole life in the dark enigma of my existence; so much bullshit for quitting, such a beautiful love story in the making. We were a bunch of outcast, sad delinquents who supposedly found some kind of hope and life in music. Dear dead vocalist uncle was our prime time hero since he was from the dungeons of Seattle, growing up in that scene; he knew everything, even all the dealers in Aurora. That was the lifestyle. Dude’s uncle introduced us to Nirvana and Bleach was the very first record I had the pleasure of owning. I never knew how Kurt Cobain looked like, how Krist and Dave looked like, hell I didn’t even know how Vedder and Cornnel looked like or else I would have died a very long time ago and went to heaven. Such innocent and beautiful faces but then I am glad coz I’m not someone who listened to their craft because I admired their faces. Na-ah, that’s not how you appreciate music.

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Bleach

Bleach was on heavy rotation when we were together, high on multiple substance, never once thinking how we are going to die in this place, all alone till our rotting flesh attracts the flies that would call a good Samaritans attention so our dead bodies could be discovered. Dark, isn’t it? Oh please, Macbeth is even darker; don’t hear you complaining about that.

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Ten – Pearl Jam

Not long after that, came ‘Nevermind’, ‘Ten’ and so much more and suddenly the loneliness faded, strange it was because I dint understand how songs that was fuelled with sheer poignancy had the ability to strike a chord in our minds until we raised these 90s lords into God’s of the new punk era. There was this connection that was beyond words, it traveled through universal ‘kalams’ and brought back a certain hope that allowed us to continue living, not die in our teens because maybe just maybe, this is not the wasted life, this is not how it’s suppose to be. Well, Kurt Cobain died. So yah, so much for that.

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I remember how upset I was when I first heard the news that I OD’d (I survived) because it was wrong for me to build hope on music. No one cared, no one will, not even music. All alone again, in this space where no sound could change the devastation that has made a settlement in the heart, I threw away all of Nirvana’s records even the ones that I bought after going on a hungers strike because I was just a kid still in school and my parents would not allow me to listen to rock music. Everything had to go and everything went down the bin that day. I totally went Jimmy Page, never picked up the guitar again, never played another record and just went into an isolated state of mind. You think friends would be kind, yah.. I thought as well but there they were not feeling an inch of guilt or sadness and made fun of me day in day out for being extremely upset about something that no human could avoid. Ok, i understand that but what i don’t understand is the concept of committing suicide? (which now, i don’t believe he did but I also don’t believe Love killed him, i don’t think she’s capable of all that. She needs to apply her mascara properly first than only we can talk)  Jeez.. Witness the prejudice in me. Truth is we are all suicidal everyday of our lives and truth is stranger than fiction so it’s harder to look at ourselves in that spectrum. The pack with death comes through the usage of illegal substance, speeding on the road, fighting with unknown stranger, alcohol bender, committing felony and endless bla..bla… bla. But it’s ok, we are the clandestine decadents and our lives do not end up on TV, so we can judge.

I came from a household that imposed strict regulations and demanded rigorous adherence so we could render our utmost dedication towards our educations so we could becomes the Prime Ministers of some imaginary country on the outskirts of Africa. So much for that could I ended up eating my homework’s. We only watch TV at certain times, which by the way was cut short to like just an hour a day, strict no music policy in the system plus having to down celery sticks everyday in life as part of a healthy diet. My mind was so full of acid, a thousand celery sticks won’t do it justice.  I believe their intentions were good but they were never around and never had time and so the usual happened. The obsessive rules made me a nihilist and pushed me back to a place where I found souls that were similar to me; the friends who I believe didn’t really care but would accept me nonetheless. At least here i was not alone.

I Found them jamming to Soundgarden, Pearl Jam, Mudhoney, Alice In Chains and Temple Of The Dog. It was so funny because it’s quite impossible to sing Jeremy or Alive or Hunger Strike, because the songs took a different tone in one structure. Trying to imitate the singer was like sitting through Macbeth in a totally confused era while desperately hoping that Mickey Mouse or Donald Duck will just appear in time to rescue you before you are eternally consumed by the demons that made the Macbeth’s tragedy.  The songs were made in ways that only the virtuosos could bring these songs to life. But we tried anyway, where hope is lost, we need to find something to hold on to and here we found Pearl Jam, Alice in Chains and Soundgarden. Slowly the devastation took a hiatus as we started rehearsing to these songs as if we had a done-deal record deal happening in 2 days time that would guarantee our own futures as the future rock stars. We were playing tribute to Nirvana since I loved Love Buzz from Bleach. I found Cobain to be at the core of his efforts in Bleach. The voice was there, no doubt, but if you listen carefully you can also hear, that he haven’t yet developed a full grip on his baritone. So the efforts were not forced into him, he had time to established his capabilities in due time. The drums however were extremely annoying but please note it wasn’t Chad Channing‘s on the drums at that specific recording time.

Despite all the vile rumours, I always found ‘In Utero’ as a final effort; like a farewell album. True, the artist always says that the lyrics means nothing and despite his words, there’s always something in between and when the time is right, you would know. You would be able to reach to the principle core of that structure and find that cryptogram in the song. In Utero was a desperate attempt to break the barrier from Nevermind and in just 3 short years, the group has gone through a lot to understand the expectations of the masses. It was to break the tie of teenage angst since all of them were not all that young anymore and that label somehow had to go. He even declared the teenage divorce was such a bore and told his dad that he wasn’t angry with him anymore, so there’s that to comprehend. Let the little cyber Einstein’s break the code, all the best.

Kurt Cobain was the master of his own games, he left a subtle ambience in a theatrical surrounding so he could bait you into digging, deeper than life, deeper than anything else. There was your Hansel in the Gretel story and the hints dropped through music. Regardless,  I chose two songs out of that album and All Apologies became our permanent anthem whenever we were jamming and pretending to play at some imaginary concert or just Lollapalooza.  However it wasn’t ‘All Apologies’ that hit close to home it was Would? from Alice In Chains. This song brought us places and the whole band felt it. There was a strong connection of life and lost that was closer to our own state of dementia, it was a production of an artist at his highest and lowest crux, laced in melancholy and forewarnings, it was the beautiful mystification of Layne Staley. His ability of reaching out and bear his soul to his audience. It vibrated the nerves that feel into submission and this song became a personal favourite for years and years and years and maybe until the day I’m no more. Layne’s passing hit me hard, so hard that I lost hope in music. I never wanted to go back to rock or punk-rock the way our inception had it. Never again would I look back with a simple smile of ecstasy or utmost delirium at the 90s because all of my hopes were broken and sealed with tragedies.

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The thoughts of Layne Staley would bring tears to my eyes, and I felt worst because I wasn’t able to curse him and fuck him to the core for leaving us behind. People would kill to have the rare kind of voice he did, hell people have tried to imitate him without success. To me, Layne Staley was the last one standing.

He left with this and even when Cantrell was the one was writing this with Layne, I guess we all knew Layne’s direction back then, we just didn’t expect that the tragedy would have such an impact that it will leave us with emotional desertion. It was exhausting to carry such heavy burden at that time knowing there won’t be anything to look forward to anymore:

Know me, broken by my master
Teach thee, on child of love hereafter
Into the floods again,
same old trip it was back then,
So I made a big mistake,
Try to see it once my way

(oh hold on, I need to grab some tissues!!)

Now, it feels like a different lifetime, as if I have slept throughout centuries just to be awoken from cascading thoughts in a superior dream. I came back to where I belonged, to a place where I first saw the light of life despite the darkness of overwhelming need to end life once and for all. I returned to music, to the golden era where music held no boundaries as I search for the pick of destiny that I have lost in between. (A year before, I met Scorpion at the immigration and the lead singer gave me a guitar pick, which I so admirably lost coz I’m great at loosing things. Perhaps it awoken my senses, I wouldn’t know)

It was in the year 2000 I finally knew how Cobain looked like, and how the rest looked like in their prime. The stupor and the pristine vibes, they all looked like million dollar babies, all too glamorous without anything that extravagant but plain T’s, ripped denims, shorts, shirtless or jackets while trying hard not to be the rock stars they already were. It was that simplicity that made those times all the more exciting. Wealth was in the heart and not from the clothes they had on.

Music was truly beautiful back then, so much energy and so much youth, there it was ready for the taking, a virgin at the edge of her seat, waiting for the love from her exuberant dreams, pure, honest and unprecedented commitment to the one holy thing; MUSIC.

Punk-rock was not freedom. Punk-rock was honest, when rock stars were not trying to be rock stars, when music build a connection; from the artist voice straight into the fans heart. It was the times when we could relate to them without feeling low in our own little existent and that’s what they gave us; the principle core of chords, sounds, deliverance and performance. Music was at its highest zenith in the 90s, not before and not after. You don’t get to see that anymore. (The only person I wouldn’t dare compare music with is Elvis, he would remain as the genuine art of our recent history)

When I first saw this picture shown by an enthusiastic fan, I almost suffered a cardiac arrest and went into an epileptic speech of ‘fuck, no way, you gotta to be kidding me,fuck no way man, na-ah, fuck’ and another 100 fucks before saying, ‘you mean to tell me that this dude sang Jeremy? That voice came from this dude?’

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After this we went on a You Tube bender (MTV, your 1 mil view could have come from me alone, so that’s all) Watching Pearl Jam, Soundgarden, Alice in Chains at that time, after about 7 years my love for rock died, I couldn’t believe that I left my first love astray. How did I give up on music so easily when I still had the likes of Eddie Vedder and Chris Cornell who kept the spirit going since 1991 or before.

When I saw how Cornell looked like in his youth, I had a series of epileptic seizures. I have been listening to them since I was a child and never once knew how these virtuosos looked like coz I never needed to. Their music alone send me to cathartic fury, let alone knowing they looked like this, I would have died a million times and come back just to die again. (I do mention die a lot don’t I? don’t worry I have no interest in dying so soon, and I hope my feeling are mutual with God. Life aint that straight yet, but since I’ve passed 25, I might just repair some open valves as I pay my dues)

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Hmm.. really? hmmm… is there a time machine? I would like to have one please, I wanna go back to the 90s and not in my school uniform but as a grown up teenager who could actually go to rock concerts and __________. (fill in the blanks with anything that comes to you mind and I believe that would start with an S..)

So this article was meant to tell you that: EDDIE VEDDER AND CHRIS CORNELL IS THE ONLY HOPE I HAD LEFT IN MUSIC, AND A VESSEL TO THE PRIMITIVE PAST, THE GLORIOUS ERA OF THE 90S WHERE PUNK FIRST TOOK ITS INCEPTION!!

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They are here, they are alive and they’re still rocking it in the true spirits of 1991. It’s been a true honour and such a huge privilege to know and see Eddie Vedder together with Pearl Jam and Chris Cornell together with Soundgarden evolve throughout times. They are the testament of true musical ecstasy that keeps reminding you that there is something good left in music. Of course there’s other bands like ‘Foo Fighters’ but I was angry that Dave would start a band so soon in the wake of Kurt Cobain’s death but dude got eat yo! That’s one reason to why I never truly digested FF and the image of Dave Grohl was forever tarnished in my heart. But I don’t feel like that anymore. I came in terms with that too. I guess when we are young it’s easier to blame everyone and even the universe than to take responsibility for our own actions and misguided attentions.

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Out of my acid mind, I am a writer for both EDM and rock music, former editor, freelance photographer, former flight attendant, director of one independent movie, a graphic designer, and on my way in publishing my first book through my own misgivings and dyslexic state of existence. Today I have the music of the past to remind me, not all of us die young from our misadventures because God was kind enough to give us another shot at life so we can live to pay our dues. Today I get excited looking at how Eddie Vedder was rock n’ roll’s very own stuntman, this boy back then had no sense of fear as he confronted danger heads on and hit the bulls eye every single fucking time. Thank God the live shows were recorded so at least memories wont be lost in time. All the stage diving and intensity, the whole climbing was the very edge that made rock so fucking exciting. My nerves have erections when I watch all those videos and I’m not even a dude.

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I see Cornell on the stage thumping his way around, stretching to the end of the spectrum to deliver his art and here is the testament to the very core of what would never die. Chris is the lyrical poet to me in the shadows of the The Doors late front man, Jim Morrison minus the hanky-panky stuff. (Oh you know, the constant black outs, the fainting on the stage and etc)  Jim Morrison was a Titanic of emotions and with only one song, he could deliver up to thousands of bottled emotions that come exploding like comets, unicorns, fireworks into the universe and Chris is the next best thing to that ethos.

Chris Cornnel is one of the greatest songwriters in the world and in the recent century. The stage was like a sonic battleground for him where all his gutsy rampage came out in volumes. He made rock so damn cool with his overbearing swagger. (Sorry Jagger!)

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I have avoided naming pure mortals God’s for years now just because sometimes the pressure can be intense and we never know that our expectations could kill them instead of building them. Of course they are icons and embellished with extraordinary gifts but as humans, they are also prone to making mistakes like the rest of us. There must be space and we must allow mistakes to be done just so we could learn, not that I’ve seen any mistakes from them because their personal interest me not at all.

So to not dip below the surface, here are the Mozarts and Beethovens of the new generation who kept music pure and honest. There was no pretentions, no dramatic overvalue, no barriers but just pure fun and good vibes all around. They gave us music during our own adolescent and for that I have come to acknowledge the pure bile and charisma and the very reason rock is still pretty much alive today.

As for my other heroes, Cobain and Staley, who are we to judge if heaven is too heavy for anyone, that’s not our task neither it is within rights. How do we know that heaven is not heavy for us? How do we know the true stories of their minds throughout their own loneliness and isolations and what brought them to where they were. So for the lack of appreciation thrown in the way of the very people who build the holy foundation of post punk-rock, thank you for having the courage to face this world of idiots and imbeciles who were never content, who gave little and expected much, because in between them, there were us, who appreciated you not for the way you looked or because the trend demanded us to uplift you as the god’s of the new generation but we were the ones who appreciated you because of what you brought to the melody that left us with hope so we could arrive ever so fashionably into this century thanking God for the privilege of being the 90s children.

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It’s easy to get lost in this world; life is fashioned to work that way. It’s hard to understand it when you are a child, harder when you have no one there but always remind yourself tomorrow might end up better than today and pause for awhile so you can gather your thoughts and just hit play. Run through an extremely generous greatest set that revisits every chapter of their legacy because when the 90s arrived, the hearts were wild, minds were young and music was the only thing high on the agenda.

RIP

Andy Woods (Mother Love Bone)
Hillel Slovak (RHCP)
Kurt Cobain (Nirvana)
Doug Hopkins (Gin Blossom)
Kristen Pfaff (Hole)
Kent Montgomrey (D.O.A)
Shannon Hoon (Blind Melon)
Bradley Nowell (Sublime)
Jonathan Melvoin (Smashing Pumpkins)
John Baker Saunders (Mad Season)
Layne Staley (Alice in Chains)

… and all that was left unmentioned. Thank you for the music.

Yours truly – Acid Tongue